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My very candid goodbye letter to my blog
I have been contemplating whether to continue my blog or to stop blogging for a long time. It has been a very difficult decision for me because I really love sharing my recipes. I've spent many nights talking to my husband about how much I love creating recipes and sharing them with others but at the same time I feel a lot of pressure and stress to create perfect, amazing, recipes and you know, not every recipe turns out to be amazing! It didn't used to bother me, it just made me more determined, but lately it is just causing me to lose the joy in the process.
I know I have indicated in many posts that I may stop posting recipes and just post health or nutrition information but then I continue creating recipes because I love it so much. I have wrestled with this for the last six months but I finally realized that it just isn't bringing me the joy it once did. The stress associated with creating recipes isn't coming from my readers of course, it really is from other sources, but I just feel a lot of stress none the less. There have been many things that have happened over the last couple of months that have solidified my decision to lay my blog to rest and free myself from recipe creating.
When creating recipes sometimes they turn out truly amazing while other times they turn out to be total disasters!
I've been embarrassed on more than one occasion when cooking for family, friends, or others only to have the recipe not turn out that ONE time I am making it for other people! This is very difficult for me because I feel so much joy in sharing recipes that people enjoy, but I also feel equal stress, frustration, and anger at myself when it doesn't turn out and people do not enjoy it the way I hoped they would because it didn't turn out right.
I have had my share of successes when it comes to creating recipes, but I have also had my share of complete failures as well. It used to be that these ups and downs of the process would just make me want to try that much harder. My kitchen would literally EXPLODE as I would spend all day making gluten free muffins, bread, or something else until I got it right! I ended up feeling so over full from testing all these recipes trying to make it just right.......... but the satisfaction of 'getting it right' was so worth it! I felt such a sense of accomplishment.
I think the stress of always feeling like I have to come out with some amazing, perfect recipe has worn me out over the years. It can be tough when you have grown up with professional critics, I think I am my own worst critic, but growing up with many critics in my life has caused me to be so cautious about everything I do and the stress has really drained the joy out of creating recipes for me.
I had planned to post nutrition information from my classes and from the latest research
I tested out a few nutrition articles that were filled with the latest research to see how I felt that might work into my blog, but I don't feel that it is the right thing for me. I enjoy teaching people in a class setting where they can ask questions and we can have a dialog. The anonymity of the internet unfortunately brings out the worst in people and nutrition is a VERY hot topic that can bring out very strong emotions.
I have been the center of controversy, gossip, and mud flinging since I started my journey to improve my health over eight years ago. I dealt with all kinds of name calling, hurtful gossip, teasing, wrongful judgment and very hurtful things from people close to me and I spent many nights crying wondering why people would make such a big deal over my personal choice.
I used to say to my husband, why do people care so much what is on MY plate? If I want a big plate of cow manure what difference does that make to them? After 8 years of dealing with social gatherings where I tried to ever so quietly eat my food in the corner so as to not cause any uproar only to have my dinner plate become the subject of discussion, ridicule, and bullying I just feel that I don't want to put myself out in the controversial arena of nutrition. The truth is out there but food is SO emotional, political, financial etc..... it is worse than talking politics or religion! Honestly it is.
I've experienced enough bullying, ridicule, and anger from the people that surround me and therefore I just don't feel up to dealing with it increased exponentially by the anonymity of the internet.
I would like to thank those who have enjoyed my recipes and who have been kind and gracious supporters
Thank you to those of you who have helped me, supported me, and enjoyed my recipes I truly appreciate your love and support! I know there are a few of you who have followed my blog and who have enjoyed my recipes. I will leave the blog up and the recipes will be available to those who have enjoyed them.
Time to retire my blog and find some inner peace and joy in a new endeavor
I have begun working with a new company and have been asked to teach for them and I am excited about this new opportunity that I have to share with others in a more fulfilling way. I may post some invitations on my blog to hear me speak or attend one of my cooking classes so there may be a few posts here and there but in general my blog will be officially retired..................................
It is hard for me to let go, but at the same time it feels strangely liberating as well.....